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Life changing choices

Hulbert writes about motivation, doing whatever he can to help put people in a position to create a better life for themselves. Read full profile.


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Throughout our lives we constantly make big decisions that shape our future circumstances. And these decisions determine the sort of person we become; for example, whether to start a family, the choice of a major in college, or a career. These choices involve dramatically new experiences that we can know very little in advance. So how do you make big decisions?

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I was in The Metro newspaper this morning talking about making life-changing decisions. The piece was accompanied by this pic which I rather liked — especially the rainbow background.

When The Metro asked me for my advice about taking life-changing decisions I came up with two linked issues that I think are important to be aware of which tend to block us in making such choices:. In the article I try to tackle both these issues.

7 ways to make life changing decisions

We may have a series of mental checkboxes and feel very troubled if we are not meeting these, or if they are not being met at the times that we thought they should be. Relieving the pressure of shoulds and oughts about what makes a successful life can often help us to go in more fulfilling directions, but this may also involve facing the fear, guilt and shame that can accompany not matching up to the expectations and assumptions that we — and others — have of ourselves.

Such thinking can make decision-making extremely difficult and fraught as we try desperately to figure out which choice is right and which is wrong. We can easily leap to a decision way too quickly, or avoid making a choice entirely which is still a kind of choice in itselfin order to avoid the pain.

The #1 rule of “no”

Ways forward with this situation are to consider embracing uncertainty rather than grasping for a decision too quickly or trying to avoid it entirely. You can read the full Metro article hereand more on the tendency to polarise, and embracing uncertainty, here and here.

They have also written a of books for scholars and counsellors on these topics, drawing on their own research and therapeutic practice. Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

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Printsasia blogpost on Rewriti. When The Metro asked me for my advice about taking life-changing decisions I came up with two linked issues that I think are important to be aware of which tend to block us in making such choices: 1.

Concern with what others will think, and 2. Find out more You can read the full Metro article hereand more on the tendency to polarise, and embracing uncertainty, here and here.

Life changing choices walkthrough & guide

Share this: Click to share on Twitter Opens in new window. TAGS choicesdecisionsembracing uncertaintyhow do I choosehow do I make this decisionlife-changesMeg John BarkerMeg John Barker blogpolarisationpolarisingrelationship blogRewriting the Rulessex bloguncertainty. Rewriting the Rules on relationship book list.

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